Sitting on a sea of green,
I hear the sounds of planes above.
Looking up to see one after another,
filling up the sounds in the air.
The wind blows continuously,
while trees sway to the beats.
A harmonious sight spreads before me,
and I hear birds chirping around me.
All these creates a sense of calm and ease,
creating moments of surreality within,
striking a chord in contrast to yesterday’s terror.
Another 12 months flown by,
52 weeks accumulated wisdom,
coupled with 365 days of lessons.
as I am sitting in one.
Sometimes I feel I understand,
at times I don’t.
During those clueless moments,
the content is repeated unknowingly,
as if there’s someone out there,
wanting me to truly comprehend this knowledge.
I keep my head low,
or call for a time-out,
willing myself a breakthrough,
to gain the insight needed,
so the repetition stops.
On other occasions,
I feel the adrenaline rush,
especially impressed by myself,
my capability to pick up the skills.
My gut tells me,
these are your strengths,
work on those,
you’ll go far.
8760 hours of lectures and homework,
I know for sure,
this constant evolution,
Ready to receive,
poised to take-off,
for my next birthday.
Before spring arrived this year, I left the 9-5 life behind.
After living the corporate life for over a decade, suddenly I felt a loss of identity. When I made this BIG decision, I based it on my gut and a balloon – amongst other reasons of course.
Deep down inside, I have never liked the office job since day 1. It never felt quite right. However, everyone around me seemed to have no problem so I suppressed the “not right” feel and kept it to myself.
On the occasions when I couldn’t keep it under control, I changed my job – which happened rather often. Mostly when I feel that learning has reached a plateau or when I had to do repetitive tasks which made no sense to me. Making the decision to quit a job each time was tough – but the signs were always similar and pretty clear. An obvious signal is when I needed to start dragging myself out of bed every morning. It starts with one day in a week, then two days and when I start to dread the week ahead on a Sunday morning – it was always time to go.
Family and friends around me were concerned about my decision and shared their thoughts with me. I took them all into consideration but my gut seemed to have gained a life of its own – from silent protests in the past to out-loud arguments.
The urge to let go of the familiarity and embrace the unknown was simply too strong to resist. I went with the flow and jumped into the deep end.
It was very strange after I officially left the “only-life” I knew since I graduated – waking up in the morning with the alarm, getting dressed, going to an office doing stuff I was obliged to do and adapting to people that I sometimes don’t like. There was a gap between the familiar routine versus the new entrepreneur lifestyle. I didn’t know how to introduce myself at times and I underwent an identity crisis as I transited from the passenger seat to the driver’s seat. It felt as if I had just received my driver’s license and I had to start driving regularly through real-life traffic.
I had new name-cards too – however, each time I handed one out, it felt like I was handing out someone else’s card. Fake it till you make it – as I often hear and now I can vouch for it.
As I sat in a roomful of other women entrepreneurs yesterday, it suddenly felt right – after eight months. At that moment, I was at the right place this time round – it was exactly where I wanted to be – truly and surely.
Though it took me over a decade to figure it out, nonetheless I am now ready to take on this new challenge to navigate through uncharted waters.
I am most certainly taking on the wheel, to navigate my direction in life to shape a life I want.
Feeling chill in my toes,
dear Sister Winter says hi.
Hats, scarf wrapped around me,
while my coat is zipped up to my neck.
I focus instead on the bouncing golden rays,
as the realisation that dearest sis is here for Christmas hits home.
Tinge of brown creep in,
trees slowly balding,
cool wind strolls in from time to time.
Autumn descends silently this time,
making her timely presence.
A sense of peace accompanies her,
preparing us for cold Winter.
Autumn takes on her hostess role,
keeping her guests at ease.
Her cool demeanor,
a soothing change from hectic summer.
Winter follows doggedly,
undermining Spring’s presence.
Flowers and green leaves battle the cold,
fighting for attention.
Covered from head to toe,
I hesitated to store my thick clothes.
Summer finally steps out to play,
making a grand entrance.
Shorts and t-shirts lining the streets,
sun tanned lotion snapped up.
Hold and behold,
halftime whistle should sound any minute.
Are you getting ready for the field,
to tackle this game,
to score goals aplenty,
before the final whistle is blown?
making her early rounds.
Birds singing in flocks,
do I hear a song
an acapella perhaps?
The occasional plane engine rustling,
the quiet whish of the irregular car,
in the background,
punctuating the melodious rhythm.
eyes drooping again,
a snooze beckons,
at the early hours of dawn.
Silence of the night,
interrupted by passing cars,
laughter and voices floating in,
opening and closing doors,
vrroom goes a motorbike,
a loud beep pierces through the air.
I lie still,
for calm to descend,
and peacefulness to return,
to the darkness of the night.
I will know it on Sunday. For the first time after 5.5 years, I have moved myself from the west to the east and this year, it will be the first time I can stay in the comfort of my room(if I choose to) and see runners trotting by! How amazing!
Last year, I was near Bermondsey area which was somewhere around the 10th kilometer mark. I signed myself up to be a volunteer for the event, cheering loudly when there are participants running by. There were the folks dressed up in costumes(I still wonder how they manage a 26.2miles race with such a hot and stuff attire) and people dressed normally. Runners looking serious and pumping on ahead while there were a fund raising runners waving by and looking out for their families and friends. People of all ages and from all countries. Their determination and zest permeated the air when they ran by. It was a cold and windy day BUT dry so it was overall considered good weather.
This year, I will be watching from the 16th mile mark when the runners will have completed half their race and the gaps between them will be more obvious. The ones which have prepared well should see them still on track while those less prepared will definitely start to slow down. I am expecting to see more people walking at that stage as well.
And guess what? On Sunday, we could be having sleet on the road..or snow?!! Yes, the cold arctic wind beats down mercilessly on us. This week, on BBC weather report, it shows up as between 10 to 12 degrees in the day(really?!). And I am covering myself in my thick jacket, two scarves and gloves. I keep my beanie in my bag as it goes down to below 5 degrees at night. Spring is supposed to be in residence but I guess Winter is reluctant to leave. Any chance Winter feel that she might have overstayed her welcome and decide to go before Sunday? Let’s keep our fingers crossed.
Meanwhile, things to look forward to on Sunday. A 82 year old lady will be running her 13th marathon on her 82nd birthday. Hold on. There’s more. She completed her first London marathon when she was 69. Yes, there’s absolutely right. This is a real case of: It’s never too late to start anything as long as you are healthy.” Amazing lady, isn’t it? I wish her all the best for her race.
Mental note to myself: to build up at least a fraction of her optimism and perseverance in my own life. Oh, and have I mentioned: “No more excuses for myself?”…….