It’s been a trying period. I looked back at my last entry and saw a gap of four months.
Wondering where time has flown and where most of 2014 went, it dawned on me that I might have accidentally let 2014 go by. Unconsciously, motivated by fear and lethargy, I couldn’t wait for more than half my day to disappear, couldnt wait for weekdays to slip quickly enough, couldnt wait for the months to fly by and wished fervently for 2015 December to be here.
Looking back, it felt rather like a big joke. Life was holding me in her hand rather than I was supposed to be leading her. I was under constant stress and overwhelmed by the events unfolding in front of me.
The only peace was at night, just before I slept. And of course my muse had long deserted me. There were brief but passing moments of serenity but they slipped through my fingers.
The second time I have felt this way was five years back and I moved countries, creating the biggest change in my entire life.
Now I seem to be facing a similar event once again and I want to regain my strength to face the fears and overcome the obstacles.
To try again. Again. And again.