When one has a poor impression of someone, one is more likely to jump to conclusions from a single statement.
That’s my conclusion over Friday noontime.
I received a text from my flatmate. Apparently her friend has completed her exams and planned to come to London to stay over on a Friday night.
My first couple of thoughts running through my head as I first read the message:
1. Oh no, not again! (It’s her first year in London and due to the novelty, there has been frequent friends visiting from her country)
2. Is the friend going to make alot of noise? (There has been instances when I was awoken at midnight as my room lies next to the living room)
3. How long is she staying for? (Shucks, can I get away from it all?)
4. Friday. Does it mean today?! (Another last minute notice?)
My reaction: I delayed my reply and the day immediately felt grayer. I felt guilty for having those nasty thoughts . The result for trying to be nice and not voicing my thoughts when unhappy events have been unfolding in the last year.
I took a while to calm down and about ten minutes later – decided to re-read the eight lines of words again.
Calmness crept back as clarity descended.
1. The friend will be staying only for one night. (Or so I hope)
2. If it was today, the text would have said so. She should be referring to the following week.
3. I will be staying over at a friend next Friday anyway. So there will be no impact on me. (Phew! Whatever.)
It hit me at that moment that when you have a poor impression of someone(whom you live with) and you hold onto your unhappiness for a long time, they do build up over time. And the result – a instinctive reaction of jumping to conclusions develops over time and a defensive mechanism springs up – without you even being conscious of it taking place.
So the next time you jump to conclusions, take a step back and ask yourself this, “Who allowed this to happen?”
PS: On a separate note, due to language barriers, after much clarification, I found out that the friend is coming over to stay this weekend. Sadly. The weekend seems to be slightly dampened by this news.