Was there a time when you reminsce upon an old friendship? Were there moments you wonder about the friends you made in the past and wonder why they were not in your present life?
I did. There were many friends I made in my life I wished we had kept the bonds. Unfortunately, life is short but fast and changing. Each individual has their dreams and hopes and everyone wants to do their own things. Alas, time is limited. Hence we have to prioritise.
There were a couple of friends I felt emotionally close to but gradually we drifted apart. Or we just became caught up with our own things and time just went by in a wink. Guiltily, I was overwhelmed with work and was struggling between rest, family and a couple of friends sometimes. But there were a couple of friends I really wanted to keep and tried to reach out to them but there were no responses. Obviously I felt hurt and after a while, I learned to replace them with new friends. I learned to forget about them. When they try to re-enter again, I just didnt feel the same towards them anymore. And it takes time to rebuild the friendship back to its initial closeness.
I wanted to be understanding, I wanted to open my arms to embrace them but when they have slipped to the bottom of my priority list, I just couldnt make time for them anymore. There were new friends, family and new things to do. When did the friendship stop? It stopped the day when both parties stopped trying. Humans are emotional creatures and of course I did feel it was a great shame that something so wonderful had disappeared. Occasionally I felt bad, questioning myself if it was due to my lack of efforts.
However, we have to understand – in a single lifetime, we have different people accompanying us on our journey. The road is our own and it is naturally nice to have company but each of us have our own paths and it takes tremendous effort on both sides to keep our paths entwinged. Understanding and an open heart is important but we need to constantly remind ourselves, friends come and go and we have to learn to accept it. When lives intersect, there was something in common but when our paths diverge due to different priorities, it takes alot more than the normal effort to sustain the friendship and that’s the obstacles. If we survive, it will be a stronger friendship; if not, it is time to let go.
Nonetheless, do keep in your heart the footprint and shared beautiful memories created. They were part of the strength in our evolution to be a better person today.