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I never knew I was addicted to running till I came to this country.

It became a rite for me unknowingly. When I was surviving long hours with minimal sleep hours, I never thought about going running. With a pounding headache, it was the last thing on my mind. I was never aware that running soothes me, gives me strength to carry on, stimulates my thoughts and provides a physical relief that relaxes my entire self.

The funny thing is – it’s a lone rite. I seldom ask for companionship during this period and it just became a part of a self-recovery process.

When I run in step with another, I am unable to focus. And I need to either make conversation or pace myself with another. The few times I ran was either a couple of track rounds with my family during our (nearly)weekly Sunday activity or a long jog with my father or brother. For the former, my purpose was to spend some family time and secondary priority was to just move the body.

With my father or brother, it was more of training for long distance runs. I had to run at least twice weekly to train up for the last half marathon. With a pacer next to me, it forces me to keep going as well as keeping up the run frequency. I can manage comfortably twice a week run – only when I am in relaxed mode. When I have too many things going on at the same time in life, procrastination seems to top my vocabulary list.

Anything more than twice transforms the rite into a chore. It just becomes ‘maybe I should run later’ activity instead of a priority event.

However, during the first three months of my stay here with loadsa free time on hand, running somehow became one of my energy supply, my adrenaline booster and the only way to shake off any potential looming depression I detected creeping into my mind.

Something fundamental I learnt long ago in science class – energy is never created nor destroyed, it can only be transformed from one form to another. Wind energy+solar energy+kinetic energy  produces sufficient potential energy enough for me to continue striding forward to the next chapter filled with unknowns and question marks.

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