Uphill

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The peak within eye’s reach,

I believe I was nearing it.

Each step I took,

the length of my stride escaped unnoticed.

Rather the summit appears no nearer than a minute before,

and the sense of frustration builds up bit by bit.

I see passerbys overtaking me with ease,

unlike the glistening perspiration running down my back,

as despair tries to sneak in.

I stopped and turned around,

looking down at the distance covered since this morning.

Acknowledging my first attempt,

the progress so far,

pride defeated despair,

forcing it out.

Taking a deep breath,

I swung forward with a new resolve:

Within Reach.

Getting Recharged

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Standing in the woods,
I paused,
seeing the stretch of wilderness,
I hear the wind whispering secrets in my ear,
I feel the air,
rushing into my body as I take in one deep breath.

In the silence,
I hear my own breath,
I feel my muscles relax,
I stand there in the nature,
I feel the reconnection,
building up,
strengthening,
the calmness within,
surging and waiting to be released,
to form a circle around me.

A pillar of strength crystalising,
like the leaves settling around my feet;
I feel energized,
ready and prepared,
to take on,
2017’s set of cards.

Leaving the 9-5 life behind

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Before spring arrived this year, I left the 9-5 life behind.

After living the corporate life for over a decade, suddenly I felt a loss of identity. When I made this BIG decision, I based it on my gut and a balloon – amongst other reasons of course.

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The balloon which changed my life

Deep down inside, I have never liked the office job since day 1. It never felt quite right. However, everyone around me seemed to have no problem so I suppressed the “not right” feel and kept it to myself.

On the occasions when I couldn’t keep it under control, I changed my job – which happened rather often. Mostly when I feel that learning has reached a plateau or when I had to do repetitive tasks which made no sense to me. Making the decision to quit a job each time was tough – but the signs were always similar and pretty clear. An obvious signal is when I needed to start dragging myself out of bed every morning. It starts with one day in a week, then two days and when I start to dread the week ahead on a Sunday morning – it was always time to go.

Family and friends around me were concerned about my decision and shared their thoughts with me. I took them all into consideration but my gut seemed to have gained a life of its own – from silent protests in the past to out-loud arguments.

The urge to let go of the familiarity and embrace the unknown was simply too strong to resist. I went with the flow and jumped into the deep end.

It was very strange after I officially left the “only-life” I knew since I graduated – waking up in the morning with the alarm, getting dressed, going to an office doing stuff I was obliged to do and adapting to people that I sometimes don’t like. There was a gap between the familiar routine versus the new entrepreneur lifestyle. I didn’t know how to introduce myself at times and I underwent an identity crisis as I transited from the passenger seat to the driver’s seat. It felt as if I had just received my driver’s license and I had to start driving regularly through real-life traffic.

I had new name-cards too – however, each time I handed one out, it felt like I was handing out someone else’s card. Fake it till you make it – as I often hear and now I can vouch for it.

As I sat in a roomful of other women entrepreneurs yesterday, it suddenly felt right – after eight months. At that moment, I was at the right place this time round – it was exactly where I wanted to be – truly and surely.

Though it took me over a decade to figure it out, nonetheless I am now ready to take on this new challenge to navigate through uncharted waters.

I am most certainly taking on the wheel, to navigate my direction in life to shape a life I want.

The 2016 Game

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Winter follows doggedly,
undermining Spring’s presence.
Flowers and green leaves battle the cold,
fighting for attention.
Covered from head to toe,
I hesitated to store my thick clothes.

Summer finally steps out to play,
making a grand entrance.
Shorts and t-shirts lining the streets,
sun tanned lotion snapped up.

Hold and behold,
halftime whistle should sound any minute.
Are you getting ready for the field,
to tackle this game,
to score goals aplenty,
before the final whistle is blown?

Calming Nerves

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Boom boom boom…..

Heart beating,
irrationally rapid and loud,
feeling as if it would pop out from my mouth.
I placed my hand on it,
willing it to slow down,
hoping my neighbors wouldn’t hear the fear.

Taking in deep breaths,
it seem to work,
alas only for a brief second.
Losing focus,
my heart uncontrolled,
takes on a mind of its own.

Boom boom boom….