Funny blog title I must say – but I couldnt resist spitting a little off despite ten minutes to midnight. Why? One of my first few supporters – Kate is moving to Berlin for a few months for an internship. In her blog entry – she relates her thoughts about leaving her home country, home town and her feelings about moving herself out of her comfort zone despite having a job(in the period of economic downturn) and having a stable life.
It reminded me loads about myself. Nearing two years since I embarked on this adventure to UK, I look back at times and ask myself if I have regretted it. True, there are downtimes – life is never a bed of roses, there are times I experienced disappointments, met rough patches. And at times, I do shed a tear or two when I am by myself. I ask myself, why? Why am I doing this?
I would say to shake myself out of my comfort zone? To challenge myself to new heights? To get myself out of the familiarity corner? To learn new things? To explore further the meaning of life?
Since coming here, I spoke to more strangers than I ever had in my entire life – I am pretty sure. Opened up an entire new perspective and engaging with new lines of thoughts. Friends who have been very supportive – our friendships have maintained the physical distance across the globes and together we are still learning, sharing different perspective and constantly asking ourselves questions to propel ourselves to a new stage in life. Family especially my mom has been very sweet – I know she misses me often. Yet, she realises this is something I have to do and accepts it.
I happily became more independent than I have realised. Because now I have to depend on myself, I start to think more often – take more responsibilities for my action and fit myself into an environment where I am a minority race. I enjoy it, truthfully. I tell my friends often , I like to be part of a minority race – because that means there is less ruler for measurement and comparison. And if I am odd, they think it’s just because I am from another country – they do not know the norm – so there is wider acceptance for what I do or say. Saying that doesnt mean I am rude to people, in fact I constantly remind myself – respect them for who they are and what they say. It’s tough and when I feel horrible, it feels even harder to maintain those lines of thoughts. Yet, I try. Still.
I have forged new friendships from different nationalities and learning to understand the various cultures. Due to the new environment, learning and seeing things inspire me to creation – my poetry and blog. It has been tremendously encouraging of course to befriend Kate – as she reminds me of myself when I just graduated – with less structured thoughts and maybe because I am more analytical in math and logic rather than writing and analysing, she expresses many of my thoughts in such a beautiful questioning way – making me feel that there are things I should be doing and could be doing.
The best part of all, I learn more about myself and what I can do. Be grateful for the luck and help I have not sought for but receive. The growing up bit – that tells me I have grown yet there is still room for further growth. This opportunity to live in another country – I need to remember always to cherish and treasure this route that I have managed to find the key to unlock.
Always I hit the stage of proper ‘growth’, I would like to take a bow and give thanks for everyone who has left a little imprint in my life. It has made a difference and help to shape what I am today.